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It was only after the second time I was arrested that things took a
turn for the better. It sure didn’t feel like it at the time but once again I
had experienced divine intervention in the form of a legal ultimatum.
My choices were to get into an in-patient drug rehabilitation program
or go to jail. I just wasn’t a jail kind of guy so I went with plan A.
After a brief stint in the hospital for detoxification I was accepted and
transferred into a residential drug program.
After 18 months of living in a drug program I was deemed ready to go
back to society and try again at becoming a productive member of the
human race. While in the rehab program I was introduced to 12-step
program philosophy and I managed to stick with it. A prerequisite for
a person to leave the inpatient program was to have gained
employment and established a support system, both of which I had
accomplished.
It was during a relationship that I slipped back into drug use. The
warning signs were there, I stopped attending 12-step programs. I
wasn’t drinking or using, but my mental state was on the verge of
snapping despite the fact that I had held a job for seven years and had
advanced to a very responsible position in Regional Management. This
time it started with my approaching one of the laborers where I
worked. I had asked around and knew this one particular guy was
dealing on the side so I took a huge risk and asked if he could get me
some heroin. That eventually led to my changing jobs, it was just too
risky now that other people at work knew of my habit. Following
seven years at the same company I had managed to buy a home and
save a little money. I bought the home with my current girlfriend and
since the relationship was all but over, we had no alternative but to sell
it.
I was so very tired of living my life like this. Spending years of
rehabilitation only to see it all go down the drain and then to have to
start all over again. Success followed by failure, followed by success,
failure and so on. I asked myself a thousand times if it would ever be
any different. I had gone full circle and knew that I was but a step
away from where I was at over a decade ago.